The World Thru Her Eyes

Yes, this is a blog about her.  The her everyone loves to hate.  The her that always is the brunt of the shaming.  The her that always bears the weight of hatred that nobody ever really deserves.  Well, I suppose there are some special breeds of her that have intentions that are different than the her I am referring to and those are a different story.  Everyone probably knows her or of her.  Or maybe, just maybe, you are her.  And if you are, you likely woke up one day and thought "How did I get here?"  See, she never planned on being her.  She never planned on her life going this way.  Why would anyone want to be the one that is bound to be hated?  Chances are, if you are her, you've Googled so many different questions looking for the answer.  I've Googled for answers.  I've talked to people who have opinions that don't really matter to me because I end up following my heart anyways.  The heart and the mind are two very separate entities.  What she knows she should do and what she wants to do play a constant tug of war.  And by constant I'm talking daily.  It's a thought that never truly leaves your mind.  I'm writing this blog because I'm her.  I'm the woman who you would hate if you knew my true story.  But until you know my story I'm just another woman trying to make it through life with as few scars as possible.  Until you know I'm her, I'm just another girl who you may possibly be friends with.  What if your sister, aunt, cousin, best friend, or co-worker is her?  How would you look at her differently?  Does it inherently change who she is?  Does it truly define her?  Absolutely not.  Of course, others will argue that it does. Would you change your relationship with her because of that part of her life?  I hope not.  I guarantee she already feels that part of her life is huge and she can't share it with anyone and that makes it an incredibly, lonely feeling. 

Essentially what I'm getting at is nobody knows what it is like to be her until you have been her.  Nobody knows the feeling of waking up thinking they can't believe this is where they are at until you've been there.  The highs are extremely high and the lows are extremely low.  There are moments where you feel very powerful and there are moments where you feel very powerless.  She is not some seductress with no feelings.  She could be anyone you know.  But they are too scared to admit it and will keep their secrets to avoid the shame that comes along with being her.  And in doing so, they cause more mental damage to themselves having this heavy burden to bear and nobody to confide in. 

There will be people that read this and give the feedback that none of the details matter, she should suffer, she hurt a family.  Honestly, its all been said before, plenty of times, and this blog isn't for negative comments and for scorned women to talk about how awful the her they know is.  This blog is for all the hers out there, like me, who need advice and a place to find others to relate to.  The brutal truth of the matter is the other woman didn't say a vow to anyone (unless the other woman is also married).  Unfortunately, the husband/boyfriend involved usually gets off easier with less blame than the other woman.  Of course the blame had to be because the woman was this irresistible seductress and the man had no power to control himself under her spell.  False.  Everyone has a choice in life.  But it sure it easier to blame someone else than your significant other and certainly never admit you played any part in your relationship not going smoothly. 

My story goes back a long way.  I'm sure many can relate.  Honestly when I found myself suddenly involved emotionally with someone he wasn't even married yet.  My story is long and with plenty of history and ups and downs...some of them quite unbelievable.  But again, let me reiterate this blog is not being written to justify anything or for women who were on the receiving end of a cheating spouse to go off on how terrible other women are.  Quite frankly, there are plenty of websites to read those stories and I don't care to read how you feel you aren't to blame for any of your relationship going wrong.  This blog is meant for her.  For all the hers out there that have tried to find something or someone to relate to and to tell them it's ok to feel how they do.  For all the hers that never thought they would wake up one day and say "Oh my God, I'm her."  This blog is meant to be honest and give a look at the world through her eyes.